After Hollywood
by carmelinagunn
Summary: Bella is a girl that has experienced love in it's many forms. She unexpectedly finds it in places throughout her life, and this friendship with Edward is no different. You just never know when you enter into a moment that will affect your forever. Another tale of friendship, love, laughter and loss. This is the true story of what really happened to Bella after Hollywood.
1. The Goodbye Song

**Disclaimer: Never have, never will own Twilight.**

 **Hi friends! It has been so long since I have posted, but I am back and I need to address a few things before we get started.**

 **\- I have started a few stories since my originals (IWIES and MMM) and they are left unfinished. For this I apologize, though I simply cannot do much about it. I started those stories without the middles and endings fleshed out and I am afraid I do not have it in me to complete them until/unless I get inspired. It's my fault but you never know.**

 **\- That is not the case with this story. I have a confession to make about IEWIS - it's MY story. I told a few readers towards the end but I never came right out and said it. Yes, friends, I lived IEWIS. It is based entirely on a real time in my life and on real people that I still know and love today. All except for my real life Edward. We did not get the ending I gave my B & E in IEWIS. Basically everything up until B & E end up in Forks is completely true, however, and that story is dear to me because of it.**

 **\- This story is also true. (For the most part - of course there are adaptations to be made). Therefore I know that there is a middle and an end and there is no risk of years going by without an update just because I don't know what comes next. It is frightening to put that fact out there and be vulnerable as I unveil really, really important events in my life but I feel like I owe it to anyone who has been a part of other stories I've started and failed to complete this one is different.**

 **Since this is true I cannot write it truthfully without referring to my time in Hollywood, as my experiences with that "Edward" effect my experiences with this one. Therefore you will get a peak into the real life ending of IEWIS. Luckily for me that B & E will always have their happy ending but I was able to move on and find this one, the one I was truly meant to have :)**

 **Here we go again...**

* * *

Prologue:

There never really is a way to tell when a moment that is going to change your life is happening. Sure, sometimes it is obvious. Mostly, though, I find that it is not.

Such is the case with Edward Cullen. The moment I met him I had no idea what it would mean to me. I had no idea that one guy taking one step through a front door would come to mean anything to me. It's just another front door. And he was just another guy. And it was just another Tuesday night.

Except that it wasn't. It was the beginning of some things, the end of others and a moment I will now remember for the rest of my life.

Chapter 1 – The Goodbye Song (BPOV)

"I am impressed you aren't pouting."

"Ok, I would like a little credit, here. I mean, it's not like Mike died or anything."

Jessica throws me a look that tells me I am not fooling anyone, at least not anyone in this car and I turn away from her knowing look.

I am pouting. Big time, on the inside. Because I am a stupid, stupid girl who stupidly has a stupid crush on one of her stupid attractive friends. Hello, I'm Bella Swan and I have a problem.

Mike Newton has been my problem for approximately 4 months now and my very faithful best friend Jessica knows all about it. In fact, she is the only one who knows all about it because it is stupid.

"I just know how much you look forward to the Tuesday night hang outs specifically to see him so, you know, I figured there'd be some pretty hard core pouting on the way to the first one he's missing."

I look at her and sigh.

"Ah, there it is," she laughs and then turns her head away from my sad, sad face and back to the road.

Jessica has been my greatest friend for about 15 years now and I don't mind sharing my sad with her. We have a great group of friends that she met through college and we see each other all the time and always on Tuesdays for a casual hang out at Alice's house. It used to be the night everyone was free so we just naturally fell into this routine, but oh-no, not anymore. _Someone_ changed their school schedule and has a night class on Tuesdays.

Yep, stupid Mike.

I have no idea how I ended up in this situation to be perfectly honest with you. Mike is completely not my type and yet I have fallen for him. Jessica knew it right away, which was embarrassing at first but has ended up saving me because I can actually share my despair with her. It just doesn't make much sense because physically he's just not my type. He's a bit too buff for me (sorry, I kind of like 'em lean) and he's not the tallest guy ever and his hair isn't anything to write home about, which doesn't sound too important but I have this thing where I really, really like hair so to me it's just a thing I normally go for on guys. And Mike's is just sort of... there.

I suppose a lot of this stupid crush has to do with our really great friendship and the fact that he is smart and silly and a musician and there's no way in hell he will ever, ever see me as anything but a friend.

You see, many girls like Mike and I am just one of the many. He gets pursued like crazy and I have spent the last few months watching him be totally uninterested in girls that are far more attractive than I am. Lucky for me, I've managed to become one of his better friends and often times we find ourselves connecting in a way that is different from the rest of the group, a way that means a lot to me and leads me to all of these stupid, stupid feelings.

He seems to have an extra interest in me compared to others in the group but I do not harvest any hope from that because, frankly, it is not unusual. All of my life I have been really good at being friends with boys. More so than girls – minus Jessica. It has led me into some very rewarding and entertaining friendships but it has also led me into some very harsh heartbreak.

I am not the girl that guys see as more than a friend. I'm just not. So this pattern is not unusual for me. I know how this will end and I know it will not be with Mike's hand in mine. One guy fooled himself into thinking he could see me as more than a friend and I was allowed 2 months of complete bliss with him until the fairy tale ended and back into the friendship zone I was thrust. Suddenly and surprisingly, I might add. It was sad and hard. It was nothing I ever want to do again.

It's not that I have given up on love, I can't do that. It's just that I am not convinced a good friend can turn into more for me. So I will adore Mike in silence until the girl he is supposed to be with comes along and I have to step aside, giving up a part of my heart and another great friend in the process.

This isn't new to me, people. It was just unexpected this time because when I first met Mike I assumed he would be rather vanilla, rather safe and instead he is a ball of fun wrapped up in a vanilla shell and it is stupid.

"Didn't Alice say she invited a few people she met in a study group," I ask Jessica with a small frown. New people are not always my "thing".

She sighs and sort of frowns, too. "Ugh, yeah." There is a reason she is my best friend.

We get to the house and I'm happy to be in our routine but I just cannot let go of the fact that Mike will no longer be here because I just love being around him, even in a group setting. Our friends are very close and with a piece of that puzzle missing it just doesn't feel right. I will still see him at other hangs outs on other nights and that fact makes my pouty mood seem much too dramatic. But it isn't just that he won't be around for Tuesday nights. It just feels like something is changing and for me it just doesn't seem like it will be something for the better. For me it feels like what I had with Mike, the amazing friendship that I adore, is over and I have to give him up even before some girl walks into his life and takes him away. Which doesn't seem fair. I thought I had more time. Then again, I always do.

I push open the large, navy blue door and step into the house I know so well. Jess and I are greeted by faces that we both know and love, though I think I count them all just a bit more important than she does because that is my nature.

Not to brag, but I have a history of awesome friend groups. In what I refer to as a past life of mine (which in reality is only about 5 years ago) I was a young lady living in Hollywood with a group of people I assumed I would be bonded to forever. And in a lot of ways I am. I don't live there anymore, most of them don't either, and I don't see any of that group of friends-turned-family hardly ever. Most of us live states apart and those of us that don't are in different cities because my journey found me back at home, much more south in California then Hollywood. It was a part of my life for a very important and happy time but I had to say goodbye to it after the crux of that life, the love I had for a boy that tied me to it failed and I was left to move on. Still, it has left me craving another close group of friends ever since our life in Hollywood ended.

I thrive in these groups because I hold friendship love as the most valuable kind of love there is. I have experienced it deeply and I am so, so happy to be experiencing the beginnings of it again, here in this house with these people.

And now without Mike. Pout.

"It is weird being here without Mike," Rose comments as Jessica and I settle in. I sigh inwardly but show nothing. No one can know how I feel. I have traveled down the "everyone knows Bella is in love with someone in the group" path before and it is not always that great to have everyone be knowledgeable about your suffering.

"Who did you drum up to replace him?" Rosalie's larger than life, fun loving boyfriend, Emmett asks Alice as he throws a hacky sack at my head because I just sat down on the couch across from the chair he is sitting in and he loves to pick on me.

I block the hacky sack and kick it under the couch and he frowns. Then he shrugs and pulls another out of his pocket and I just roll my eyes. Looks like there is an endless supply.

"Two guys that always make me laugh in study group. They were both kind of quiet at first but once I got them talking and they got me laughing I had to make sure they became our friends."

Everyone laughs at that as well because Alice normally gets what she wants and it seems another one of her plans is in full swing.

"Oh, you told me about them!" Rosalie says with sudden realization just as the door opens and a voice that is new to me goes, "knock knock!".

In walks a tall guy with dirty blonde hair that is kind of curly and unruly.

"Welcome," Alice says with a big smile and he walks in. "Everyone, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is everyone."

"I am really bad with names so I might literally call you all 'Everyone' for the rest of time," he laughs and we laugh with him. "I'm pretty much all about making things easier for me so it'll be up to you to figure out who I am talking to. Pretty much I'm just letting you know that I am a selfish bastard."

He is funny and I like him. It's totally apparent he's not actually a selfish bastard and I like that he will potentially be a part of our group. And I miss Mike and still feel like newbies cannot replace his piece to our puzzle because my heart really is a selfish bastard.

Jasper sits down next to me and almost immediately Emmett, ever the shy one, starts asking him questions about his life. We learn that Jasper was in the military but is done serving and is pursuing a degree in engineering now, which has landed him in a study group with Alice as a tutor.

I am engaged in Jasper's story but still going about my business of missing Mike when it happens.

I hear the door open and I don't even look behind me towards it. I don't even care that another guy is still supposed to show up. I know who it _isn't_ so I don't really care who it _is_.

Emmett throws the second hacky sack at me and I dodge it, deflecting it with my hand to bounce behind me. He laughs and I give him my best annoyed face.

"Sorry, man," Emmet says through chuckles to whoever entered behind me as he lifts his right hand in the air and catches the hacky sack that has just been thrown back to him.

He immediately throws it directly at my head again and I duck down and yell, "What the hell? Stop!" while laughing.

Again the small ball gets thrown back to Emmett and his eyes light up as he chucks it at my now balled up form.

I grab it from the floor and turn around to face Emmett's new found accomplice and find the new guy just standing there with an amused and faux-innocent expression on his face.

"What?" He asks casually as he looks from me to the cell phone in his hand and then back up at me as if that's what he has been doing the whole time.

 _He is attractive and his hair is amazing._

Those are the only two things I can think when I first see Edward Cullen.

Which means, for one moment at least, there was no room to think about missing stupid Mike Newton.

This Edward might just be good for me.

 **This is scary but also exciting.**

 **Hit or miss? Too soon to tell?**

 **I will just be over here worrying if this was a good idea or not... ;)**

 **Send me thoughts, please, I really do adore them.**


	2. Anything Can Happen

**Disclaimer: Twilight = not mine.**

 **I have to admit, being back is fun. A big thank you to everyone who is coming back or potentially even joining me for the first time. I've received some pretty great "welcome back" messages in the reviews so far and I appreciate every single happy and encouraging word! I also appreciate any constructive criticism that was sent in because I've been out of this for a while and it's helping me find my groove again :)**

 **One last thing - due to the nature of the story I am telling some personal things are going to come out about my life and in this chapter I begin to mention church. I want to make it very clear that this in no way will come to reflect any judgement on any other human beings and this story is not about one belief over another. It is just a part of the story, a part of how things happened, where they happened and why they happened the way they did. It also does not mean every single action is going to be perfect because that is not who real people are, no matter their beliefs. I personally love and respect all humans and was always brought up that way and that will never, ever change. Revealing this part of myself is scary but there's no way to tell the way things happened without it so here it is.** **Hopefully you can also accept parts of me that may not be exactly like every part of you :)**

 **Ok, enough of that. Let's (hopefully) have some fun!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 – Anything Can Happen**

Jess and I arrive back at my house where she picked me up and we enter into the kitchen to find my mom washing dishes.

"So, how was it?" she asks knowingly.

My mother is the only other person who knows about Mike because she can tell when I'm down. She also caught me listening to some old school Weezer tracks that I tend to play a lot when I want to be emo about my hard time in the world of love. I guess my father knows, too, but we never talk about it so it doesn't count.

"The new guy has good hair," I respond as I toss my purse aside and fall on the small couch that sits just off the kitchen.

They both laugh at me and I smirk back.

"That's the first thing she said when we got into the car, like, as if she'd been dying to tell me all night," Jess tattles as she grabs a water bottle out of the fridge.

"What? Things like that are important," I retort.

"She's always been that way," my mom sighs and Jess just responds that she knows because she truly does. She knows everything about me.

"Anyway," I say to break up the little "she's so crazy" look they have going between them, "are you gunna hang out or go home?"

"I'll stick around," Jess replies with a shrug. "No work until 10am tomorrow!"

"Woo-hoo!"

We walk down the hallway to my room and I shut the door just out of habit once we are both in. I flop on the bed and Jess sits in the bowl chair with her feet up on the Love Sac because when you have enough furniture to furnish a small apartment and then end up moving back into your old bedroom at your parents' house things just get a little tight in terms of spacing.

"Oh hey, Mike texted me!" I proclaim as I pull my phone out of my pocket. Why the heck was it on silent? We can't go missing texts, phone!

 _M: Hey all! I think a camping trip is in order soon… anyone?_

"Oh, it was to the group," I realize with a bit of deflation.

"Yeah…" Jess replies with her phone in hand as she reads the same thing I just did.

"That would be fun, we haven't been camping in a while," I say as I type a text that reflects what I just expressed out loud.

"Yeah but I'm bringing foam or something this time. Me no likey rocks in my back while I sleep."

"Um, we also need a bigger tent for the girls. It's no fair that the boys get the luxury just because Mike's family has a mansion tent that sleeps like twenty full grown guys."

She nods and I nod and we both agree that I am right because I am. Silly boys, they all see us girls as just friends but that doesn't mean they can't be more gentlemanly about the tent situation. The biggest tent we have on the girls' side is my dad's ancient pea green thing that is not easy to erect and just smells elderly. And since the majority of our little group bonded over attending the same college group at church some male and female sleeping situations are mutually understood and, well, the boys also like to be smelly and weird in their tent so it's really not that much of a big deal or hassle.

It's a silly way to live in most people's point of view these days but we are all adults who have made these decisions for ourselves so that's how it remains.

 _I knew you'd be the first to respond to my camping proposal :)_

The message pops up on my phone and it's instantly clear that this one is just for me. I smile at Jess and she rolls her eyes at me. She heard my phone ding and from the look on my face can tell what's going on.

 _Duh, you still need to play us campfire songs like you promised last time, Newton._

I smile even wider as I type it because I'm envisioning Mike with his guitar. The first time he brought that thing over to Alice's house it was a major surprise because he just didn't look the type. In my _past life_ I dated and hung out with musicians and Mike Newton just isn't like those guys at all on the surface so I never expected him to have similar talents with the wood and string concoction that is a guitar. In retrospect that was probably the thing that took me from, _"huh, this guy is intriguing, what's that about?"_ to the, _"uh-oh, I like him"_ nightmare we find ourselves in today.

Stupid guitar. Stupid Mike. Stupid Bella.

 _The guitar will be packed first thing, promise. I shall not upset you again._

For one second I let myself believe that he really wants to do something I suggest because he actually cares about making me happy and it feels good to live in the tiny fantasy. I am snapped out of it when Jess starts talking about some frustrating thing going on at the museum she works at and I start listening to her as another group text comes through.

 _A: Camping! Camping! Camping! When do you we want to go? Yay! I'll get the menu started & invite Jasper & Ed_

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

A few Tuesdays later I am in a much better mood than the first one that was void of Mike's presence. I've gotten used to Mike being absent on Tuesdays so the pouting is no longer happening. We see him on weekends even though that is getting less and less due to his school load. The guy is studious and is pretty strong about putting his school work first, which is admirable and annoying all at the same time.

I walk into the kitchen where I find everyone standing around eating various snacks that have been pulled from Alice's parents' pantry. They are the nicest people, though both doctors who are hardly home so we barely see them and we pretty much run the house whenever we come over.

"I'm sad Jess couldn't come," Alice says as I walk in.

"Oh, but I'm happy Bella's here!" I respond sarcastically as everyone laughs and I throw her an annoyed look that she just sticks her tongue out to.

From a quick glance around I see that everyone else has already arrived. We have Alice, of course, our small dark haired friend that loves to host people at her parents' house and loves to be excited about nearly everything. We have Rosalie and Emmett standing together on the opposite side of the counter from her basically sharing a stool. They have been together for a while now, before the rest of us knew each other and they seem like opposites but actually make so much sense together. Then there's Tanya who is a few years younger than the rest of us, a freshman in college and a beauty, I can't lie. She is very sweet, a bit naïve and originally from the northern part of California. Jacob is standing next to her and he is your standard Southern California guy. He wears tank tops all the time and likes to have fun. We have sort of bonded quickly due to the fact that he is a videographer and I used to fancy myself a bit of an actress.

I'm not pursuing that anymore, I haven't for a while now, but I have been in a few scenes Jake has done for classes and ongoing church things he volunteers for and it's been fun. We work really well together and he's another guy that I could see myself becoming good friends with. The best part about him is that I am not attracted to him so there's no danger of another Hollywood or Mike situation, thank God.

I've also learned some things about the "new" guys in the past few weeks. It turns out Jasper actually knew Alice before he was deployed and they reconnected when he returned, she just never spoke about him before because she was pretty bummed when he left and they lost touch on purpose to make it easier. I am not sure if there is something more than friendship there or not, but I think there just might be on both ends.

Edward has opened up more in the group and is not so quiet as I first thought he was. He likes to write and he LOVES his truck. Like, a lot.

"She's got a lot on her mind with work and trying to figure out the 'next step'," I clarify seriously to Alice and the rest of the room. "If she wants to do a semester abroad then she needs to figure it out pretty much immediately"

Everyone nods as I explain why Jess opted out of tonight's hang out and I don't even give myself one second to think about her leaving the country. Sure, we've lived apart before and remained best friends through it all but it's never fun to be the one of us that is staying behind.

"You guys! We need to have a Lord of the Rings night!" Emmett says enthusiastically out of nowhere like he does.

"Um, yes please," I respond because I love everything LOTR. "I have them all in case no one else does."

"I have all of the extended additions," Edward throws out and I look at him with an, _"excuse me"_ face and he smiles. "Just saying, if we're going to watch them we should watch them right."

"I haven't ever seen them," Tanya throws out casually, as if it's not the biggest deal in the world.

Everyone pauses and Emmett actually drops the cookie he was eating on the ground, which is serious because Emmett does not idly waste cookies.

"Unacceptable!" he declares with a flourish of his right hand. "We must fix you immediately. Bella, Edward, neither of you happen to have the movies in your cars, do you? This is an emergency."

Tanya is looking around worried and it's hilarious.

I shake my head and Edward replies, "Damn, I was going to switch out my jumper cables for my Lord of the Rings movies yesterday and just didn't get around to it."

We chuckle but Emmett is still shaking his head in shame at Tanya and she still looks upset that she's failed us.

"I watch Lost," she says meekly and with hope that this will take the heat off her.

"URRRRRRR," Emmett says, imitating the sound of a buzzer going off, "Doesn't count."

"Yes it does!" she fires back, "that guy from Lord of the Rings is in it. I know _him_!"

I know him, too. He is my very favorite part of Lost and the reason I started watching that show in the first place. Give me a good sweet, sad rockstar character any day.

"That is so not the same," Edward chides as he takes a sip of his soda.

"Not at all," I agree. "And I like him in Lost but Charlie is nothing compared to a hobbit."

"A what?"

Basically everyone groans and I practically yell, "The hobbits are the _best part_!" because Lord of the Rings matters make me hysterical.

Edward reaches his hand out for a high-five and I reach my hand out to meet his. The _clap_ of our hands rings through the room and Tanya puts her head in her hands because she's just not going to win this one and she knows it. Our young friend is used to this by now.

"You guys we should totally go Lost camping," Jake suggests as he takes a bite of cracker and cheese. "I'll film it and we can make our own episode and everything."

"That would be so fun!" Alice responds as she bounces a little bit and claps her hands.

"It makes sense, we'll be in the wilderness, on the beach and dirty and stuff…" Jake continues.

"Ha, we can totally make Edward Sawyer and give him jacked up glasses," Emmett laughs.

Edward does indeed wear black rimmed glasses most of the time and it is funny to picture him in the broken ass miss matched glasses the character Sawyer ends up with on Lost. _He'd still be attractive in them, just like on the show_ , I think to myself.

"That's fine, he's the best in my opinion," Edward responds. Then he points to Emmett and says, "but you have to be Jack."

"No way, Mike is totally Jack," Emmett retorts. "I can be Boone, I like that guy." He wiggles his eyebrows and everyone laughs because the guy who plays Boone has some pretty prominent eyebrows.

"Oh, ok," Edward shrugs. "I still don't really know who that guy is," he adds on as he laughs and takes another sip. "Sometimes I think you guys are making up this Mike character just to mess with me."

"That is so weird," Alice thinks out loud. "I mean, we see you all the time now, how have you two not been around at the same time yet?"

"It doesn't matter, you guys are definitely going to like each other. I see a total bromance in the future," Rosalie comments.

"You know, I do, too," Emmett agrees.

"Or maybe he'll hate you for taking his place in the group," Alice teases as she nudges Edward in the side.

"I can take him," Edward responds. "I've taken down bigger guys before. I used to be a giant tamer in a past life."

Everyone laughs and it's this kind of imagination that bonds us all together and I'm glad Edward has it.

 _In my past life I used to be an actress and a desperate love-sick loser_ I think to myself, thinking it's funny that Edward used the term "past life" when that's exactly how I think of my time in Hollywood and Forks, Washington.

 _And now you're not even an actress_ another part of me thinks somewhat bitterly.

Edward is elaborating on his time as a giant tamer in the most northern part of Greenland and it's entertaining to hear him come up with such a story on the spot. This quickly becomes a game of two truths and a lie and so far we've been able to guess Emmett's lie (that he is allergic to peanuts, we've all seen him eat them) though we missed Rosalie's. It turns out she does not want children, a surprise to us all because she would make an amazing mother someday.

Everyone turns towards Alice and she spills three facts about her, two that are true and one that is a lie.

"Ok, so I have two twin brothers, I have been to Disney World twice and I am allergic to alcohol."

Everyone guesses that she is not actually allergic to alcohol because we all have Disneyland passes and go there all the time so it makes sense she would have gone to Disney World sometime over the course of her life at least once.

"Nope!" she smiles proudly, "I have never been to Disney World. Sadly."

"Wait, so are you are actually allergic to alcohol?" I ask her, thinking it's odd but realizing that I haven't actually seen her drink since I've known her. "What does that mean? Do you get hives or something?"

"No, when I drink it I get really sick and I throw up."

There's a clear pause in the room.

"Um, Alice, I think by those standards every single human is allergic to alcohol…" I say with a laugh. "It's called drinking too much and puking. That's not an allergy that's normal."

Everyone laughs really hard because that's ridiculous. I myself have a pretty high tolerance but I can see how little Alice would not and somehow she's translated that into an allergy.

"No, you guys," she sputters out between laughs, "I'm serious! I take like five sips and get sick."

"That is so sad!" Emmett laughs, "You are so _weak_!"

"Have you tried, like, wine coolers? Those things are barely even alcoholic," Rosalie offers.

Alice looks ashamed and Edward points at her and accuses, "You threw up after a wine cooler!"

Alice shakes her head in the affirmative and it's funny all over again.

"Was it pink?"

"Strawberry Daiquiri," she confesses with a pout.

"Awesome," Emmett concludes.

Emmett is a bear of a man even Tanya who is underage and has never had a drink in her life – we're good kids, remember? – is even cracking up. She's going to be 21 in about a year and she's probably going to be able to out drink Alice at 12:00am on her birthday.

"Shut up – just move on to Bella," Alice whines, though she's still laughing at herself.

"Ok…" I begin as the laughter ends and I hold up my first finger to help me count my facts as I list them, "I have been backstage at Disneyland, I am a Bohemian Princess and when I was five years old I had an imaginary pirate friend."

"Bohemian Princess is a LIE," Tanya guesses and others nod.

"Nope," I say proudly, "when I was little I had Puff the Magic Dragon as an imaginary friend. I was too scared of pirates when I was five."

"Ok, who cares, we need to know about this Bohemian royalty thing please," Emmett says with a doubtful look.

"My great, great, great, great, great grandfather was the last king of Bohemia. He was beheaded and everything when the Czech Republic took over. I seriously just found this out like a month ago, you guys. I'm a long-lost princess."

It's completely true, at least as far as my family tells it and it's not really something you can bring up in casual conversation but it is perfect for this game.

"No giants in Bohemia," Edward comments confidently and I laugh.

"Well if there were they would be my subjects so then I'd have a fleet of giants at my command."

He lifts up his soda to me in a gesture of respect and I nod my acceptance of it. We continue to discuss this new found fact about me for a bit and I love that they indulge me in it.

The game continues and we find out that Tanya doesn't like cheese, Edward doesn't like peanut butter and Jasper bought a guitar but doesn't know how to play it. Jake just plain forgets to include a lie in his three facts so he gets made fun of for that.

After the game ends everyone continues hanging out and I end up standing with Edward and Tanya in the kitchen back around the food.

"I've got a bit of a melting pot in my genetic background but despite my best efforts to search through my family tree for royalty I've found nothing," Edward says to me.

"That's a bummer. It's super fun to be a royal," I tease him.

He says, "I know. And I would be really good at it. I like controlling people."

"And you have the hair for it."

 _Oops._

"What does that mean?" he says as he chuckles.

And I have no idea what it means or why I said it. It's just my stupid, creepy love of his awesome hair subconsciously slipping into a conversation.

"Um, like a crown or whatever would look good on it," I almost mumble to cover up my weird ass comment.

Does that make sense? That kind of makes sense. Right?

Luckily Tanya jumps in and saves the moment by flicking a lock of his hair.

"You need something to cover up that mess, it's so... everywhere."

He makes a face that indicates he agrees but says nothing. It's his hair and his life but I would probably like him a little less if it ever changed. I guess I am a shallow friend like that.

"Did Mike pick dates for camping yet?" Tanya asks me.

"Not yet," I sigh as I feel a little bit of pride that she asked me directly because that indicates that she thought I would have inside information on things Mike does. Within the group we definitely talk a little more than either of us talks to everyone else and it is like that for almost all of us. Obviously Rose and Emmett are a bit of a pair being a couple and all. Jasper and Alice have become close and will often go to lunch during the week one on one and it actually seems like Tanya and Edward might have a little connection and I think they've hung out once or twice for lunch or something as well.

None of these are necessarily romantic but I guess you never know, anything could happen. And I would be happy for any of them if it did happen, I guess.

"I think that it will be in the next month or two, though," I continue as I pull out my phone to double check the last text conversation Mike and I had about the subject of camping. I have to scroll through some silly things we wrote back and forth about him building a tent out of palm fronds during camping to make up for the girls having a crappy tent situation.

"I heard about that," Edward says as I continue to look through texts. "It sounds fun, I haven't been camping in forever but my family used to go all the time when I was younger."

"We camp at the beach," I smile because I love the Malibu campsite we found.

"Does anyone surf?" Edward asks.

"No but Mike wants to explore the cliffs this time. Like all of the cliffs. He's basically challenged himself to climb every rock he can lay his eyes on."

"If this guy is actually real, he sounds all right," Edward nods.

"It's still weird you haven't met him. I bet you're going to be besties," Tanya teases.

I think about it again and it sort of weirds me out that they don't know each other yet. Edward is a pretty clearly not going anywhere and fits into the friend group well so it seems like he and Mike should know each other.

But Mike's been so busy lately. His classes are harder than ever before and he's burying himself in studying so as not to fall behind. This has caused him to miss out on a lot in the last month, a lot more than even I realized, and it's sad. I feel the fibers of everything I know start slipping apart and I have that sinking feeling that it's all changing. I've gone through enough to know that you can't stop change from happening – it's part of life – but I also know that it is not always fun, especially when you are losing something or someone.

"Actually I'm more interested in cultivating a best friend relationship with Bella."

I look at him suspiciously and he very seriously continues with, "You know, so when you take back Bohemia I can get in on all the benefits of being close to a royal. It's a common sense move. I want a castle. "

"Well now you've revealed your master plan and I know that you'd only be using me for a castle," I point out. "There's no way I'm falling for that now."

I throw a grape in my mouth and give him a stern look while Tanya nods and pokes Edward in the arm with a "ha!".

He just casually shrugs and says, "The friendship is still young. Anything can happen."

 **You know what to do.**

 **I want to mention that, as with IEWIS and MMM all the chapter titles of AH are also songs. I'll be posting those to my profile if you are ever interested.**

 **Really getting back to my roots here, haha.**

 **Hit or miss, friends?**

 **'Til next time...**


	3. Lost Coastlines

**All right, no more long notes at the beginning of the chapter, I promise.** **I just want to answer the question I've been getting a lot: No, you do not have to read IEWIS to know what is going on in this story. For those of you that did read it, you'll notice bits and pieces of familiar info (because it was real) but for those of you that didn't, you'll be fine. Everything you need to know about that part of Bella's life will be revealed in this story as time goes on :)**

 **Ok - on to three!**

* * *

It turns out Jess didn't need to bring a foam mattress on our camping trip because she doesn't get to go camping at all. If she wants to fulfill her semester abroad hopes and dreams then she has to foot a part of the bill so she's taking every shift she can get at the museum. Weekend plans are basically moot.

That is not my biggest problem with this camping trip, however. Jess isn't really a girl who likes the great outdoors so she's never really thrilled with camping after the first two or so hours anyway, so I totally understand when she chooses her financial priorities over her friendship priorities.

My biggest problem with this particular camping trip is a fun new development in our lives called Lauren.

I fold my arms and look back down at the little screen in Jake's lap as I hold in a frown. Ironically enough, our videographer is behind on his TV watching and missed the finale of Lost so he spent the whole ride up watching it on his phone. We have arrived at the camp site but Jake is easily distracted so the two hour drive up to Malibu was not enough time for him to finish the sixty minute episode. Now he's hooked into the last few minutes and we can't get him to come out of Emmett's big jeep until he sees every last second.

Alice and I both climbed in with him just a few minutes ago feigning complete emotional ties to the last moments of the show. It's partially true for both of us, but I have suspicions that her real intentions were to get out of unloading all the food she made us pack in the first place.

I have no suspicions about my real intentions for climbing in the jeep to huddle around the tiny screen with Jake because they are very clear to me. We have been here setting up camp for only seven minutes now and I am already pretty sick of this Lauren and her talent for constantly hovering around Mike. So I climbed in to temporarily escape.

I sneak a glace through the big windshield and, yep, they are still standing too close together for my taste. It looks like they are working out the best way to wear the bandannas Alice brought for everyone and I hate how many times I see him smile as they speak. I hate how much I care about the words he's giving her because I think they should be mine, smiles and all.

Alice's sad gasp pulls me back into the moments on the little screen and even Jake makes a sad " _ah_ " sound at whatever just happened.

I look at the screen but I don't really. My mind is running in pathetic, pity filled circles and I hate that, too.

"You guys, it's over," Jake pouts with exaggerated sadness as credits start to roll across the little scene.

Alice wipes a tear from her eye and replies, "I could watch that a thousand more times and still get emotional. In fact, let's just start it over."

Jake, ever the distracted one, gives on curt laugh at her suggestion but has already turned off the video feature on his phone and is trying to refresh his email account.

"There's no reception at the site," I inform him with a sad smile. Sad for different reasons far more tragic than bad cell phone reception. Mike reasons. Bella reasons. Stupid reasons. "You'll get some when we go down by the water."

"Ugh, that's annoying. How's a guy going to survive with no reception?"

Jake is basically glued to his phone so Alice and I both laugh at him and I know I at least roll my eyes as well. He's been here before and we go through this with him each time.

"It's _Lost_ camping, Jake. It would be wrong if we had technology… now get your camera out so we can start documenting our survival!" Alice pokes him in the arm and then claps her hands as she adjusts the bandanna already tied around her head.

Mine is in my pocket and I pull it out to tie around my wrist. I snagged the green one which was my second option after Edward chose the blue.

Jake reaches back and pulls out his camera as I begin to think it's funny that we are all pretty much just ignoring the fact that we are staying cooped up in the jeep to get out of helping with the work being done outside. I don't think I can handle being out there until I get more used to ignoring Mike's new Lauren smiles so I decide to be ok with it.

"Oh man, the battery is dead."

"What? No way, we have to film!" Alice chirps as Jake moves the camera around in his hands, searching for something that he probably knows he won't find. A dead battery is a dead battery.

"I totally forgot to charge it last night because I was so focused on finishing Lost."

"Is there any way to charge it through the car or something?" I ask naively. I think that I've heard of that before but I'm not sure.

"No, this camera is old and it's just your basic 'plug into a wall' type of thing," he sighs loudly and twists to put the camera back in its bag which is still behind the seat. "Oh well, now I get to join in the fun for once, I guess."

He shrugs and smiles and we let go of the disappointment all at once. It's a rare opportunity for him to simply hang out because he normally doesn't get that being the guy with all the filming skills. Not that he minds, but Jake is rather outgoing and is definitely not behind the camera because he is shy.

"Have you guys met Lauren yet?" Alice asks as the three of us continue to hole up in the jeep, silently agreeing to see how long we can get away with this.

"Nope," replies Jake with a little pop to the "p".

"Uh, yeah, I rode up with her and Tanya," I say, shielding the aggravation I felt during the full two hour ride.

It was a surprise to me when she appeared. I didn't even know the girl before today and now there she was with blonde hair and a bubbly personality and eyes that were often turned to Mike. I genuinely enjoy Tanya and I was looking forward to driving up with her in my convertible VW Beetle because we drove up together last time and it was far too much fun singing Love Shack at the top of our lungs. Apparently Lauren has never heard Love Shack before so to be nice we compromised by plugging in her iPod instead.

Between controlled smiles and feigned interest in her taste in music I managed to find out that her and Mike have the same break on Tuesdays and Thursdays between classes. Through a few chats during those breaks they bonded over the fact that they were reading the same book and that she attends the same church as most of us. Our church is large so it makes sense I wouldn't have met her there. What doesn't make sense is why the Good Lord led her here, on this trip, to torture me.

"Oh yeah. She's sweet, huh?" Alice asks.

 _Um, no._

"Yeah, super sweet."

"Well she likes Mike, I'll tell you that much," Jake laughs with a nod towards the windshield. "It's so obvious."

I look out and they are standing at the cooler now. She's handing him sodas and waters that he is placing in the ice and that seems to me like a job only one person needs to do. One adult, attractive, heartbreaking person.

"Mmmhmm," Alice smirks as she turns to me. I fake a smile and an eyebrow raise that should make it seem like I'm on board this " _wow, how scandalous and exciting_ " train she's already on. Instead of being in total despair I'm a little proud of how I've obviously been successful at hiding my crush on Mike from the rest of our friends. They certainly wouldn't be cruel enough to sound happy about Lauren if they suspected my feelings.

"Yeah, he brought his guitar and everything," Jake points out as he pulls out his phone and opens the email feature again. Refreshing to no avail. "So he may have an interest as well because that screams of a romantic fire lit serenade."

I want to pound my fists on the roof of the jeep and retort that the reason he brought the guitar was to make _me_ , his good friend, happy. I have the text messages to prove it. I want them all to see how perfect we would be together because we would complement each other's differences like Rose and Emmett. Impossibly, I want them to be on my side just for a moment without me having to spill my secret because I am sick of feeling so alone in my feelings.

My explosion of thoughts about what I want gets interrupted with Edward opening the jeep door that I was leaning on, causing me to catch myself to keep from falling out.

"Oh, sorry," he says with a face that reflects a bit of sorriness but also a bit of amusement. "I just realized you guys were still in here so I wanted to catch the last of the episode but…"

He trails off as he sees Jake is now playing a game on his phone so we clearly aren't still watching Lost.

"But we finished that already and we're just hiding out to avoid work now, so you're crap out of luck," Jake laughs.

"Well, damn, I wish I knew that earlier. I wouldn't have helped Tanya unload her bag if I knew we were allowed to ditch out on helping," Edward replies with a frown as he runs a hand through his wild hair.

"It's not too late, Edward," I state with much seriousness. "You can still be saved from work. All you have to do is join us. Join the dark side."

"Hell, I'm all in if you want me," he states to all three of us with a questioning look, landing his gaze on me.

Alice cheers, Jake gives a thumbs up without looking up from his phone and I say, "we totally want you," as I scoot over on the seat to make room for him.

He climbs in and starts to tell us facts about the filming of Star Wars, a topic which Jake actually tunes in to and I realize that I really do want him as a close friend because so far I like everything I've seen of him. He's funny and I think I'm impressing him with my own knowledge of Star Wars, something I can thank my father for.

I mean, who knows? With all of the similarities I've seen so far, maybe this new friendship could even a distraction from my new blonde problem.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A few hours later the fire is lit and I'm happy for the shroud of darkness brought on by nighttime because I'm having a hard time not pouting. Since Jess isn't here for me to privately vent to during stolen moments without the group, it's been hard to get it in behind the scenes. My pout is very selfish so it doesn't take being ignored very well. Now that it's late at night I can pass off any visual upset as tiredness so I figure I'm fine if someone happens to notice, though I doubt anyone is paying that close attention to me anyway.

Alice is sitting to the left of me and Edward is directly to my right in the circle we've formed around the fire pit. My original plan of an Edward distraction has been a bust because Tanya has occupied a lot of his time today. Luckily, Alice stepped up to the plate and I've spent basically the whole day with her by my side to laugh and explore the campsite with, but it's not worth a damn thing right now because she's focused on the same thing I am but for very different reasons.

Turns out the guitar _was_ for Lauren's benefit. Mike has it out and he's playing but it's not the silly campfire sing-a-longs I requested or envisioned. Oh , no. It's John damn Mayer and it's the worst.

I mean, it sounds great and in any other circumstances I would probably think it was the best… but these are someone else's circumstances that I am observing from across a fire.

The flames jump up and down and through them I see the way she looks at him and I hate that it's the one thing we probably have in common. Except I guess we really don't, because she can give those looks freely, without a second thought and I have to devote all my thoughts into thinking about not showing them to anyone.

Alice leans over and wiggles her eyebrows to me and I give a small smile in return.

"It looks like someone likes musicians," she whispers to me with another eyebrow wiggle.

"Huh, yeah," I snort.

"It's so weird seeing Mike like this," she continues to whisper. "Like, all romantic. Normally he doesn't respond at all to girls liking him, you know?"

"Yeah, well, she's beautiful and sweet so what's not to like?" I say despite my personal feelings since it's true.

"That's true…," she replies distractedly. "I hope I end up with a musician," she continues with more conviction and now I know where her mind had wandered. "Not Mike, obviously. But someone who can sing me songs."

"I have dated a musician. It's not that great," I deadpan before I can help it from spilling out.

She laughs at my statement because she's heard the edited version of my _past life's_ love story. The edited version where I can make fun of the silliness of my youthful heart getting in too deep with a boy that I thought was my forever.

I give her another smile even though I didn't say it to be funny. In fact, dating a musician _can_ be great and I know that not every boy is the same, musician or not. In my experience, it can be a great big whirlwind of fun, and passion, and note filled nights.

It can also be a great way to play second fiddle to a very hard career path. A great way to develop distaste for songs you once thought you'd always hold dear that now just hold memories you mourn.

I sigh as an image of the last guy to break my heart inevitably flashes in my mind. It always does when I go down the sad path of thoughts connected to my hopelessness with Mike because some of the feelings are extremely familiar. In the image of Anthony that I always see, he is in that maroon hoodie I so begrudgingly gave back when everything ended. I will probably always picture him in it and I will probably always wonder if I should have kept it when he offered to let me.

 _"But why?" I had asked, still so confused and hurt by everything about him._

" _Because… it's sort of yours now anyway," he said as he sighed, throwing a look at the hoodie. He said is as if his letting me keep it made up for everything else he took from me._

 _"But it's not mine, Anthony. It's yours. There's a difference now."_

I don't think I'll ever forget the way he nodded so sadly as he relented and lifted the hoodie from the chair I threw it on. It was the last thing I gave back to him and that was the last time we spoke about our relationship and I think we both knew it. With the friendship we had before our more-than-friendship began it was hard for both of us to let it all go, I know that. And even though I would continue to see him around town and at group functions for almost a full year after that day the boy from Hollywood that I loved was never to return.

Mike moves on to a more upbeat song that is still one big charm bomb for Lauren and I sigh at myself inwardly, frustrated that I'm even connecting my feelings for Mike with my past feelings for Anthony. This isn't even close. That was love and this is a crush. But, still. Pain is pain and the size doesn't always matter, just the fact that it exists at all.

Edward distracts me from my thoughts by bringing up surfing the next day. I am not one for ocean activities but I remember seeing a surf board strapped to the top of Emmett's jeep and I realize it must have been his. I start to look forward to the night ending and the daylight bringing new adventures. At least during day time activities I won't be forced to sit in a circle of despair directly across from the serenade twins.

I tell Edward that I used to surf but in high school I developed a very real fear of every living thing in the ocean. He admits that the surf board is his father's and that he's not really into the sport so he's not even sure he'll use it. He tells me I should give the ocean another chance and when Tanya cuts in to ask him to teach her to surf he has to re-explain that he's not even that good but brought the board to humor his dad.

When I get into my sleeping bag that night I can't stop laughing when Alice gets scared of sleeping next to the edge of the tent and insists on crawling into my bedding with me. She's small and feisty and makes me laugh a lot. We make jokes about sleeping together before marriage and luckily those joking moments are what I fall asleep with.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When I wake up, it's to an extremely grumpy Alice which suits me just fine because I am no morning person either. We bond even more over our refusal to get up even though everyone else is ready to go for the day. The only reason we actually do give in and get out of the tent is Jasper's pancakes. That guy can certainly cook over a campfire. When he brings them to the door of our tent Alice instantly perks up and promises me it'll be worth it.

The rest of the day continues happily and I'm grateful for the lightness of the trip that I thought would end up being much harder. Lauren doesn't really have a chance to hang around mike consistently because it turns out the prophecy of Mike and Edward's bromance comes true.

Its almost like they've known each other for years at this point and it's only lunch time. They have been climbing every cliff in sight and the rest of us have followed as long to the best of our abilities.

"I'm taking the path back," Alice declares after her, Tanya and I finally make it up the top of a cliff and onto the safe path above.

"I love the path," I sigh with relief as my feet hit flat ground. It wasn't too hard to climb around the cliffs over looking the beach but we'd been at it for hours and I was wearing flip flops.

"You guys, look how far Mike, Edward and Jasper have gotten," Tanya says as she points past my head.

I turn around and see that they are indeed pretty far ahead of us on another cliff farther up the coastline. Loren and Rose are still climbing past us, though I doubt they'll make it to where the three boys are now. Emmett and Jake stayed back with the girls. Last I heard, their little climbing party mostly consisted of Emmett egging them all on with quotes from Lord of the Rings.

The three of us girls start walking back towards the campsite and we agree that we can start making lunch for everyone else so when they return they just have to worry about eating.

"You guys, I'm sad I have to go home in a few months," Tanya says suddenly, linking her arm through mine.

"Oh yeah, summer's coming," I reply, remembering that she's only been in Southern California for college. "Are you going back up north for the summer?"

"Yeah, back to my parents'. It's going to be weird going back and not seeing you guys all the time."

"We'll keep in touch though, don't worry," Alice says with a little skip. She links her arm through Tanya's and adds, "There's texting and Skype and all sorts of ways for us to bug you all summer."

Tanya laughs and says, "I've already told Edward he has to Skype me like, every other day. He's never used it but I told him I'll walk him through it."

The air gets a little heavy in the way it does when you sense there's more going on than is being said but you also don't want to be the one to say anything.

Later in the day when everyone is back at the campsite Alice and I find ourselves changing into warmer clothes alone in the tent. We whisper about Tanya and Edward and the possibilities of something between them. Alice thinks its obvious that something will be going on soon and I think that I don't know Edward well enough to read him but so far he seems to enjoy Tanya's company so I can't exactly disagree its quite possible. She's so pretty and he's so attractive, too... it just makes sense if they get along as well as they seem to.

After emerging from the tent I end up sitting with Jake by the fire pit. Jasper has started it up again, our new resident camping expert, and with the chill coming off the beach it's the perfect layer of extra warmth while the sun starts to set.

"So I'm thinking our next video should be Lost themed," Jake says to me as he opens a beer. "Out opportunity to make it a reality got tarnished out here thanks to the stupid dead battery but it would be fun."

"We do have a beach at home…" I think out loud, liking the idea of a new video project. "But where we will get a jungle?"

Just as I say that Edward sits down next to me, his hair still sort of wet and all over the place from the shower he took. We've learned that this boy likes to be clean, a difficult feat to achieve during a camping trip. I think this was his third shower of the day.

"Just can't get clean enough, huh?" Jake teases Edward.

I'm pretty sure Jake hasn't taken one shower yet, and probably won't until he's home if I remember past trips correctly.

"Those stalls are so gross, I still need a shower after I shower," Edward replies. "I've worn my shoes in every time and I still feel like my feet are covered in diseases."

We laugh at him as he lifts up his foot and shows us a drenched flip flop. I wear mine in there, too, so I can't blame him. Camping showers aren't exactly high class.

"Anyway, I think the wooded areas around my parents' house will work for a jungle," Jake says to bring up the filming discussion again. "It's pretty lush and there's a decent sized creek. If we cut between the beach scenes and the 'jungle' we could make it look pretty decent."

"What are you talking about?" Edward interjects before I can reply.

"Jake wants to make a Lost video," I reply.

"For what purpose?" Edward asks.

"Yeah, I dunno. It could be just for fun, I guess. Or maybe a project for church about team work or something. That way there's a purpose."

I not as Edward scoots his chair a little bit closer to me. He throws his feet up on the cooler that I am resting my feet on and says, "I dabble in writing if you guys ever need help with a script or anything."

"Really?" I ask, thinking that with his imagination I've seen so far, it makes sense.

"Yeah. I mean, I haven't written anything important but I like doing it."

He shrugs and Jake sits up in his chair with that excited look I'm now so used to seeing when we start a new project.

"This is awesome, we always struggle with the script," he says as I nod in agreement. "We can use you on everything we do from now on. Get ready guys, we're a team now. The dream team. But I'm in charge."

He points at both of us to make sure we understand his authority and I roll my eyes at his dramatics. Edward nudges my foot with his to get my attention. When I look over at him and he's smiling mischievously at me but right before he can say anything Tanya throws an ice cube at his head and he turns to see what hit him.

She gets him to join in the game of cards her, Emmett and Rose have going so Jake and I continue to discuss details of the new project alone after he gets up. Eventually we all end up around the fire again that night and this time I am not as upset about the Lauren thing still unfolding before my eyes. There are indeed other distractions sitting in the circle around me and for the time being it's enough. New projects and new friends will do.

When Edward hands me his glasses we have a laugh over how blurry they make my site.

"You can pull of glasses, Bella," he says as he's still laughing at how I'm twisting my head around to attempt the impossible task of focusing.

"Uh, thanks. I actually have some of my own but I never wear them," I admit as I look at him and let them fall down my nose so he comes back into focus. "And now I think I'll need a new prescription because that totally ruined any eye site I had left."

He reaches over and pulls them off my face with a laugh and doesn't disagree.

Jake, who is sitting on my other side and is on his sixth s'more, decides to lean over me to grab the graham crackers on the other side of my chair between Edward and I.

I start to ask, "What are you do-" and it's too late. His weight on top of mine causes the cheap camping chair I'm sitting in to collapse and we both tumble sideways, into Edward, who yells, "what the hell?". Tanya screeches and moves out of the way quickly, causing the three of us to fall to the ground. Edward gets up first but Jake and I are in a fit of laughter and I'm repeatedly telling him, " _Get off of me!_ " and pushing on his back but he's too busy fishing out graham crackers to care so I'm stuck.

Edward is nice enough to find me a new chair and Jake promises to be good as we both sit back down. I throw marshmallows at him for the rest of the night to get him back.

I can't help but feel whole and happy despite the fact that I haven't really even hung out with Mike on this trip. I guess I'm being provided with other friendships to keep me busy and it's providing me with a sense of freedom. I have no idea if this will last, I suspect it won't, but that's fine for now.

Mike actually does sing silly campfire songs this time around and he smiles right at me as the first one starts, which means a lot to me in the stupid way it shouldn't. I spend most of the time listening and singing a long, but also making fun of the lyrics with Jake and Edward. He tries to get me to wear his glasses to bed because he wants to see me try and navigate my way to the tent with them on but I decline.

"Why not?"

"Because I like to _not_ look like a fool..."

"Bella."

"Edward."

I'm not backing down and it's funny that he thinks this will be so funny to watch. Before I have a chance to give in under his relentlessness, Tanya steps in and says that she'll do it as she takes the glasses right from his face.

When she falls straight into the tent after tripping on a rock, we all laugh and I look at Edward with a satisfied smirk.

"You're no fun," he says in response to my look as he crosses his arms.

"Yeah right, I'm the most fun," I say with a wave of my hand as I walk towards the tent.

I never hear a response from him and I don't hear him start to walk away from where we were standing until I'm about 4 steps from my tent. When I enter it Alice agrees that I am the most fun and we share my sleeping bag once again.

 **Number three down.**

 **You know what to do.**

 **Hit or miss?**

 **AHHHHHHHH, still nerve wracking.**

 **Either way, I love yous!**


	4. Some Nights

**Thanks to whoever is continuing with me! There aren't a lot of reviews but this is fun to write and I have to remember it isn't the good 'ol days of IEWIS so I'm coping, haha.**

 **Once again...**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 - Some Nights**

"Booooo," Jess chants from the bowl chair. "Double booooooooo."

I pout and nod my head to agree with her disapproval.

I am on the Love Sac, smushed next to the bowl chair as I lean my head into her lap. I look down at the computer I'm holding and tap my finger against the side in frustration. There, filling up my Mac Book's screen is a picture of Mike and Lauren at a country music concert. I haven't even read the caption to see what band they were seeing because I don't really care even though I also _really_ care all at the same time.

When I look at it I basically just see a few key things. Both of their smiling faces. Her beautiful blonde hair. His stupid happy expression all over his stupid attractive face. And of course the arm he has wrapped around her much shorter frame.

Boo, indeed.

"Whatever," I say as I click to the side of the screen, forcing Facebook to shrink it back to thumb nail size. "I knew something like this was coming because they were ridiculously obvious on the camping trip."

Jess pats my head and doesn't say anything because there's not really anything to be said that will help me. And it's true, I knew something like this was inevitable.

"I mean, when we were loading up the cars he was giving her piggy back rides all over the camp site," I say with a roll of my eyes. "Like she couldn't walk from table to table on her own legs to collect trash."

Jess sort of laughs at my despair because I'm shifting into dramatics. To distract myself from going into full blown woe-is-me mode, I click through the rest of the pictures Mike recently posted.

It's the Thursday after the camping trip and since Jake's video camera broke the only Lost documentation we have is from Mike and Alice's still photos.

"That one is really good," Jess says as she points over my shoulder to a particular photo.

I smile to myself and click on the photo she's pointing at to enlarge it. It is our only official "Lost Photo" where we are all posed as our characters on the cliffs of the beach. It's pretty funny to all of us because everyone dressed fairly close to their characters and Mike has captioned it "Promo Photo for Lost, Season 7". Edward has already left a comment about the various plot lines the photo indicates and it's started a long list of funny observations from everyone.

"Edward's funny," Jess observes. "I haven't been on Facebook a lot lately but he comments a lot and it's always witty."

"Yeah, he's got a clever side to him, for sure," I agree as I nod with her and close Facebook. "He's going to start working on projects with Jake and I. Writing scripts and stuff."

I push my laptop from my lap and lean against her legs again, wanting to bring up the next subject but also not wanting to.

"So… how is the grand semester abroad shaping up?" I ask as I look up at her.

She pats my head again and says, "It's going very well. There's a new development. But you're not going to like it."

I sigh and laugh a little and wave my hand in the air in a "go ahead" motion.

"I'm officially going to New Zealand," she states with a little cheer and a large smile.

I sit up to high five her and give a little cheer myself. I'm genuinely happy at this news because that's where she really wanted to go and for a while it looked like all of the slots for New Zealand were full.

"That's amazing, Jess. I don't like any of this, really, but if it must happen then you better be going somewhere you really want to. But I thought it was full? Did they open up more spots on the trip?"

"It was full and they closed it but someone dropped out last week so they contacted me. I still don't have all the money that's needed but my mom said that she would put up more on the front end if I worked while I was there and then paid her back. So not only am I a world traveler to be, I'm also a nanny now!"

She shrugs a little bit and I laugh because Jess has never really been around kids but apparently she's landed a job in a foreign country doing just that.

"When do you leave?" I have to ask, because now that she knows where she's going I guess it feels more like it's actually happening.

"Um, beginning of September. I know, I'm going to miss your birthday." She frowns and I wave my hand at her again, this time with a "stop it" motion.

"I'm just going to stop celebrating after you leave anyway," I joke. "There won't be any point in trying to get anyone else even close to your depth of understanding of the importance of my birthday."

We both laugh and she heaves a big sigh. I'm relieved we're talking about her trip and that my heart hasn't dropped to my feet. Not yet, at least.

"I'll just leave Mike with some very specific instructions on how to make your birthday the celebration you deserve, don't worry," she says with a wink.

I kind of laugh at that and then give her a sad smile. "Don't worry about that, he's probably only going to be concerned about Lauren's birthday from now on."

"Yeah, well, regardless of who Mike is being stupid with, I'll leave _someone_ with instructions on your proper birthday proceedings. Perhaps Jake. You spend a lot of time with him. Just make him the new me."

I roll my eyes and push her legs a little bit as she laughs. "Um, no. Jake is no you. Jake is just… Jake." I have no other words for him because he's just a big, silly guy and truly one of a kind. Don't get me wrong, he's cute. Any other girl would be lucky to have him but he's like my brother at this point. We've already had the "just friends" talk anyway, since we spend so much time together editing videos every now and then. As Jake said, "It had to be done"

"How much do you think he'd love hearing about my Mike sorrows?"I ask with a small laugh at the thought.

It really is absurd to think of me sharing my boy troubles with Jake. He's so straight forward and silly at the same time, I'm sure my advice from him would be a long the lines of, "Bella, this is gross. Just jump him or move on".

"I'm sure he's got mounds of boy advice just bubbling under the surface," Jess jokes as she wiggles her fingers over her chest. "You might have a whole bundle of untapped wisdom there."

"I could hijack our first video meeting with Edward and turn it into a ' _Solve Bella's Unrequited Love_ ' meeting instead," I say with a little laugh as I imagine Edward's eyes going into deer-in-headlight mode if I were to do that. Jake could probably handle it but Edward would probably hate being involved in the dramatics of my heart.

"Welcome to the video team, Eddie, I'm a wreck!"

We have a good laugh over that and I just shake my head at the thought, certain that I will never share boy troubles with the likes of Jake or Edward, ever.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A few hours later I am driving from the college group at church to Mike's house and my mood is quite good. Outside of our Tuesday night hang outs it's become customary for the group to head to Mike's house after the group ends. We normally watch the latest episode of the Office and hang out for far too long into the night.

When I arrive at the house Edward is also just getting there and I wait for him outside of my car while he gets out of his truck.

"Did we beat Mike here?" he asks as he walks over to me.

"I think so. I think we beat everyone here," I observe as I notice none of our other friends' cars are on the street in front of Mike's house.

"You drive too fast, Swan. It's not safe," he accuses with a dramatic wag of his finger at me.

"I'm sorry, but you got here like a second after me so…"

"So nothing, I'm a great driver. I can handle it."

I scoff at him and shake my head.

"I've seen you whip around in that thing," I point to his truck and he looks offended I called it a thing. "There's no way you are the shining example of responsible driving."

I fold my arms and look at him straight in the eye but his only retort is to shrug and say, "It's a shame you feel that way. I was going to be a good friend and offer to carpool to church from now on. But forget that now."

"You were not going to offer that," I chide with a laugh.

"No, I really was," he says with more seriousness. He looks at the ground quickly and then back up at me. "I just thought it would be better for both of us since we both come from the same direction." He runs a hand through his awesome hair and I probably look at it for a second too long, but I don't think he notices. "I was going to text you earlier today but I got caught up at work and forgot. By then it was too late to pick you up and make it to the group on time."

It's cute that he's thought of this and I smile at him in thanks. But before I can actually say anything the sweet, friendly Edward is gone and he smirks at me.

"But if you refuse to get into my alleged super dangerous vehicle then forget it. Because I am not riding around in _that_. It's the truck for carpooling or nothing."

He points behind me to my VW Beetle like it's the worst thing he's ever seen and I fake offense. Yeah, it's a girly-ish car but mine is white with a black top. It's not like it's bright pink or anything.

"There is nothing wrong with my car, Edward."

"No. Not if you have boobs."

His statement takes me by surprise and I lose all of my fight, instead just falling into laughter. I kick him lightly in the chin and he leans against the car next to me. As he pulls out his iPod he says, "You'll cross over eventually. I'll get you in that truck, yet."

I roll my eyes and look at him to make sure he sees that I've rolled my eyes. By this time he's got the iPod on and he's scrolling through a playlist full of music I recognize. Music I love.

"Admiring my collection?" he says with a smile, catching me watch the names scroll by on the screen.

"Yes, actually," I say somewhat defiantly as I look up at him, proving I don't mind that he caught me ogling his music choices. "You've got good taste, it seems."

"Damn straight," he confirms with a cocky smile.

I pull out my phone for something to do with my hands and see that Alice texted me to let me know everyone else is on their way. A few of them had to stop for gas on the way over and that's turned into Jasper buying snacks for everyone. I nudge Edward and show him the text on my phone so he's in the loop. He nods and goes back to his scrolling.

"You really like all these bands?" Edward asks after I finish texting Alice back.

"Damn straight," I confirm as I put my phone back in my pocket, making him chuckle. "I have my father to thank for that. He brought me up on good movies and good music."

"Ah, that's how you know about Star Wars," he says with realization.

"Yep. And the Stones."

He hums his approval and puts the iPod back in his case and then into his pocket. He folds his arms and sighs as he looks at me.

"I made that playlist for Tanya because she doesn't know about any of that."

"It's not really a surprise at this point," I say as I lean my head back on the car and look up at him. "She doesn't know what a lot of quality entertainment is."

"Bella, she actually asked me to lend her any Led Zeppelin music I had because, and I quote, she 'heard that _his_ music is good'."

I laugh one sharp, loud " _ha!_ " and shake my head. "That's hilarious. Did you correct her or does she still think that Led is one guy?"

"Oh, I corrected her. I couldn't _not_ even though it may have been more entertaining to let her continue assuming Led Zeppelin is a guy and not the name of the full band. We were walking on the beach after eating lunch the other day when she brought it up and I started grilling her about all classic rock music then and there. Hence the reason for the entire playlist - she knows nothing. I cannot have one of my friends unaware of the power of The Who. I just can't allow it."

At that moment Mike pulls into the drive way right next to my car. I continue laughing to myself and I think that Edward may be using the word "friend" sort of lightly when it comes to Tanya. The last time a boy made a playlist for me he was a silly rebound from Anthony, who I genuinely liked, but who was not making me a special playlist just to make our _friendship_ stronger.

We enter the house and the normal Thursday routine ensues. Emmett laughs ridiculously loud at The Office and multiple references are made to Mr. Zeppelin. Jess has to leave before everyone else because she has an early shift at the museum the next morning but other than that everyone hangs out sort of absurdly late.

These nights tend to blend together but there are a few things that stand out to me on this night. The first one is how obvious it is that Tanya likes Edward. After our discussion about the play list I'm just naturally paying more attention to their interactions all night. From what I've observed, I'm not sure he is reciprocating one hundred percent at this point. But he did mention that lunch-slash-beach walk and the playlist does exist so maybe he's just not as obvious about it.

This leads me to think that perhaps I could have a confidant in Tanya regarding my Mike situation. The thought of bonding over unrequited crushes with her isn't a bad one and I selfishly hope Edward doesn't like her so I have the chance at companionship in my despair. She's definitely a better option than Jake.

The second thing that stands out to me is a lovely thing. Lauren isn't anywhere to be found.

No one brings it up all night and it feels nice to not have to watch it unfold right before my eyes. I spend a lot of the night sitting between Mike and Emmett and it's much more normal for me to have as much interaction with Mike as I am. He does silly things that he doesn't do to other people, like balance his phone on my head and steal my bracelets to see if they look good on him, too. I think they do, but I am biased.

Much later that night, possibly even early morning the next day, Alice is sleeping on Mike's couch, as she is known to do. Emmett leaves to take Rose home, Jake leaves to edit a wedding video he filmed a week ago and the Tanya/Edward duo start to listening to the playlist Edward made for her by sharing headphones, one ear bud each.

I find myself on the other side of the room, sitting on the floor with Mike and Jasper. We are completing a puzzle that Jasper brought over last week but it's slow going and I honestly couldn't care less about it.

I have one thing on my mind and I decide to just go for it.

"So… what band did you and Lauren see?" I ask as casually as I can manage, which I think turns out to be pretty dang casually.

"Oh, it wasn't anyone big. It was just a show her dad had tickets to. Her parents couldn't go but they had already bought the tickets so she asked me." He shrugs and it seems like that's that, which is no good because I pretty much just want to know every single thing about if it was a date and if they fell in love and if that's the case then what is up with her absence this evening?

Before I have to decide how to get that information while not seeming like I care too much about her whereabouts, Jasper takes care of it for me.

"Did it not go well?" he asks without looking up from the piece he is so determined to place. Jasper does puzzles on piece at a time, literally. When he picks one up he devotes himself to finding at least one other piece it connects to before moving on to another.

"The concert was great," Mike responds with another shrug.

"But did you talk to her?"

Talk to her? About what? _About what?!_

"Yeah, I did," Mike sighs. He turns to me and clarifies, "I didn't want to lead her on by going to the concert with her so I decided to talk to her about my intentions and all that on the drive home. I really did like her, but with school and everything I'm not ready to date, you know?"

I _do_ know. I so awesomely know. And I so awesomely love that little rule he's apparently made for himself. And suddenly his school is now my friend and no longer my enemy. It may have taken him away from me on Tuesdays, but it's now seemingly took Lauren away from me forever.

"It makes sense," I agree with my faux casual nature continuing on. "I'm sure she appreciated that you were honest."

"Yeah," Jasper says with a laugh, "Clearly she wasn't into the rest of us. We got dropped really quick after Mike pulled the plug. After we shared Lost camping with her and everything."

He shakes his head and Mike rolls his eyes towards me but also laughs.

"You guys are good friends. Whoever my future wife is will know that. I just haven't met her yet."

Jasper checks out as he finally finds a place for the puzzle piece he's been holding for at least ten minutes so Mike looks at me with a very happy smile and now I'm supposed to respond to that last statement. I try to mirror his joy but I'm not sure how good of a job I'm doing.

It's not like I thought that he was ever considering me as more than a friend but statements like that just suck. Some nights it's easy to speak to him about things like this and some nights it's not.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 _I just haven't met her yet._

That sentence hangs out in my head and repeats over and over as I exit Mike's house, pretending to be going home because I'm tired. I'm not tired in the normal way, I'm just tired of being in my head with these stupid feelings.

I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to get over Mike because I am completely over feeling like I do as I leave his house. I wave to Edward and Tanya as they both head out to their cars as well.

I don't cry on the drive home or anything like that. Some nights I would, but I just don't have it in me tonight, I guess. I sigh a lot and turn up my music extremely loud and follow Edward's tail lights almost all the way home.

As I turn off of a main road and onto my street, leaving his truck to continue on without me following right behind I realize he's right, we do live decently close to each other. I pull into the driveway and decide to end my night with a happy thought so I pull out my phone and text him.

 _Drive safe._

Two seconds later the return text arrives and when I get into my room I pull out my phone to read his reply.

 _;)_

He just sends me the winky face and for some reason it makes me smile. I can't ever really tell what's going on in my friend Edward's head, but it's almost always something interesting. At least I have confirmation that carpooling with him would involve good music. Maybe I'll revisit our car situation with him next week.

 **There we go, friends :)**

 **So much more left to go.**

 **Thanks for reading - a review would be fun!**

 **Love yous**


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